The one-word prompt for today is zip and that is pretty much accurate for the place my mind is at. Right now, I am working a part time job which is lucky to give me five hours a week. Which is not paying my bills to say the least. I just graduated in January of this year with an Associate’s degree in Applied Science for Administrative Assistant. I had plans to work on my education some more and go for an added Semester so that I could get my Associates in the Legal Assistants degree as well. I had taken classes in law and other things to work with that as it was a definite plan for me. I found out when I was done earning my first degree that the counselor had been mistaken and I was unable to take the three remaining classes as they were a requirement of each other. I had failed at my goal even though I had not failed completely. I wanted to be a legal assistant! I loved learning the law and I loved helping find information when I was needed. I also was good at the Private Investigating but because I was not licensed my friend was unable to use the fruits of my labor in his case. That is why I went back to school.
Then when I graduated I started checking the state employment boards and filled out a few applications for different jobs with the state. This was back in February of this year. I received an email today asking me when I would like to do the first interview for a legal assistant with the state. My mind is zipping from here to there and back again. Just like a physic woodpecker. As this was my dream job the one I really wanted a chance to do. I do not even care if I must relocate. More power to me! But with the excitement of the interview I also have those little doubts zipping hither and yon. Will I be what they are looking for? Will I be considered too old? Will I have the look they are looking for? Is my education going to be good enough for them? It kind of reminds me of being in high school and being that insecure teenager who just wants to fit in and get noticed.
So, then you think, how do I stand out? and your mind will race in so many directions that it is inevitably going to remind you of a bat after the bugs at dusk. Still you have no real idea of what you will do. You and I both know I will be myself as that is the best thing I can do. I will be proud of the fact that at my age I received my degree with a 3.21 honor and worked at the same time while I was going to school with kids younger then my tattoos. (Yes, I have them and that will be written about another time.) I will be secure in who I am, what I can do, and where I want to go. I will be avid in what I want to accomplish. I will allow my mind to flutter like a butterfly but I will know that I will do the best that I can. And considering I am the best at being me I will do it awesomely!
As for relocating, that is an opportunity to start fresh in a new place. I like my smaller towns but there is something to be said for large cities as well! I no longer have children who I need to worry about. And if I did I would remain in the small town. The neighbors make it a heaven of sorts to raise children there. You still have ones you need to watch out for however, you usually know through the grape vine which ones are the most important to watch. In a larger city, you do not have people knowing people and their backgrounds. They do not care usually much less want to know what you are up to unless it immediately affects them in their day to day routine. As an older person, I see this as an Eden of sorts. And yet I will miss being able to run to the store and run into someone I have known for years. I then think about my parents who are older and are starting to need help around the house. Do I need to move away from them when they may need me the most? Or should I be selfish and do what is best for me. As I said the mind is zip, zip, zipping along! And this is with just the “we would like an interview” email. My goodness, can you imagine what it will be like if there is a second interview? Or knock on wood, I even get the job!
I have put in a lot of time filling out applications and being rejected or not even contacted to let me know the position has already been filled. To make it to the interview part of the process is a giant step. But you should wonder who taught the people who do the hiring. Why don’t they take their jobs more seriously sometimes? A job seeker is contending with rejection daily. And recently I have found that a lot of the jobs I applied for were already filled and never taken off the job boards. Or worse yet posted after they were filled. I am filing out applications like it is a full-time job and wasting my time for a job that is no longer available. Or because they have a lower position open and they are hoping you are desperate enough to say I will take anything. Which I almost did. However, I put myself on a time table and if I have not found a job by then, I may just have to bite a bullet and accept a job I do not necessarily want.
I am coming to the end of my time table and I was starting to stress over the bills and everything else financial in my life without a full-time job to rely on. Yet I knew that things would work out in the end as it was supposed to. I am just at a point where I keep praying that I get the light at the end of the tunnel soon before the fires of hell burn me alive. And yes, debt collectors are like demon spawn to me! I realize they have a job to do but when that job starts affecting you being nice it is time to find a new job. I know, I have done that job as well. I have 30 years of different jobs under my belt and some of them might surprise some of you.
And finally, my many months of filing out applications is ending. whether it will be a good or bad end is yet to be decided. There are many jobs on the table and a few are nothing to sneeze at. And who knows where one may not pan out, another might. But the one holy grail of a job for me … I have an interview and I am very, very thankful for that indeed. And the mind keeps zip, zip, zipping along …