Daily Prompt · One-word Prompt

Zip Zip Zipping …

The one-word prompt for today is zip and that is pretty much accurate for the place my mind is at. Right now, I am working a part time job which is lucky to give me five hours a week. Which is not paying my bills to say the least. I just graduated in January of this year with an Associate’s degree in Applied Science for Administrative Assistant. I had plans to work on my education some more and go for an added Semester so that I could get my Associates in the Legal Assistants degree as well. I had taken classes in law and other things to work with that as it was a definite plan for me. I found out when I was done earning my first degree that the counselor had been mistaken and I was unable to take the three remaining classes as they were a requirement of each other. I had failed at my goal even though I had not failed completely. I wanted to be a legal assistant! I loved learning the law and I loved helping find information when I was needed. I also was good at the Private Investigating but because I was not licensed my friend was unable to use the fruits of my labor in his case. That is why I went back to school.

Then when I graduated I started checking the state employment boards and filled out a few applications for different jobs with the state. This was back in February of this year. I received an email today asking me when I would like to do the first interview for a legal assistant with the state. My mind is zipping from here to there and back again. Just like a physic woodpecker. As this was my dream job the one I really wanted a chance to do. I do not even care if I must relocate. More power to me! But with the excitement of the interview I also have those little doubts zipping hither and yon. Will I be what they are looking for? Will I be considered too old? Will I have the look they are looking for? Is my education going to be good enough for them? It kind of reminds me of being in high school and being that insecure teenager who just wants to fit in and get noticed.

So, then you think, how do I stand out? and your mind will race in so many directions that it is inevitably going to remind you of a bat after the bugs at dusk. Still you have no real idea of what you will do. You and I both know I will be myself as that is the best thing I can do. I will be proud of the fact that at my age I received my degree with a 3.21 honor and worked at the same time while I was going to school with kids younger then my tattoos. (Yes, I have them and that will be written about another time.) I will be secure in who I am, what I can do, and where I want to go. I will be avid in what I want to accomplish. I will allow my mind to flutter like a butterfly but I will know that I will do the best that I can. And considering I am the best at being me I will do it awesomely!

As for relocating, that is an opportunity to start fresh in a new place. I like my smaller towns but there is something to be said for large cities as well! I no longer have children who I need to worry about. And if I did I would remain in the small town. The neighbors make it a heaven of sorts to raise children there. You still have ones you need to watch out for however, you usually know through the grape vine which ones are the most important to watch. In a larger city, you do not have people knowing people and their backgrounds. They do not care usually much less want to know what you are up to unless it immediately affects them in their day to day routine. As an older person, I see this as an Eden of sorts. And yet I will miss being able to run to the store and run into someone I have known for years.  I then think about my parents who are older and are starting to need help around the house. Do I need to move away from them when they may need me the most? Or should I be selfish and do what is best for me. As I said the mind is zip, zip, zipping along! And this is with just the “we would like an interview” email. My goodness, can you imagine what it will be like if there is a second interview? Or knock on wood, I even get the job!

I have put in a lot of time filling out applications and being rejected or not even contacted to let me know the position has already been filled. To make it to the interview part of the process is a giant step. But you should wonder who taught the people who do the hiring. Why don’t they take their jobs more seriously sometimes? A job seeker is contending with rejection daily. And recently I have found that a lot of the jobs I applied for were already filled and never taken off the job boards. Or worse yet posted after they were filled. I am filing out applications like it is a full-time job and wasting my time for a job that is no longer available. Or because they have a lower position open and they are hoping you are desperate enough to say I will take anything. Which I almost did. However, I put myself on a time table and if I have not found a job by then, I may just have to bite a bullet and accept a job I do not necessarily want.

I am coming to the end of my time table and I was starting to stress over the bills and everything else financial in my life without a full-time job to rely on. Yet I knew that things would work out in the end as it was supposed to. I am just at a point where I keep praying that I get the light at the end of the tunnel soon before the fires of hell burn me alive. And yes, debt collectors are like demon spawn to me! I realize they have a job to do but when that job starts affecting you being nice it is time to find a new job. I know, I have done that job as well. I have 30 years of different jobs under my belt and some of them might surprise some of you.

And finally, my many months of filing out applications is ending. whether it will be a good or bad end is yet to be decided. There are many jobs on the table and a few are nothing to sneeze at. And who knows where one may not pan out, another might. But the one holy grail of a job for me … I have an interview and I am very, very thankful for that indeed. And the mind keeps zip, zip, zipping along …

go right

via Daily Prompt: Zip

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Daily Prompt · One-word Prompt

Avid Recommendation!

The word prompt for the day is Avid.  I think I will write about something I am avid about. One of my loves is reading. I read anything from True Crimes to Fantasy. About the only things I do not like to read is Biographies and Text Books. Depending on the subject even some of those can be quite entertaining as well. I have a passion for writing as you can see due to the start of the blog. However, I do not have the confidence in my ability to write a story or a novel as some do. I have a few people I know that do this very thing for a living and I have one or two friends that are trying to break into the field of being an author. I, in all actuality, admire their confidence in their abilities and their crafting. Because yes writing a book is an artistic endeavor.

They paint with words instead of colors. They bring characters to life and place them in your home with just a little bit of typing and printing. Making the story play in your mind in a CinemaScopic way. They allow you to fly to another world if for only a few hours to a few days, depending on the book. They allow you into their imaginations and their thoughts. It is a wonderful process because without the reader, there would be no author. Without the author, there would be no readers.  Some people are what I call Holiday readers, the ones who read on their days off. Some people are Anytime readers, they read anytime the urge hits them. And then you have the Avid readers, they read whatever they can get their hands on and whenever they can get their hands on it.

I am not an Avid reader, but more of an anytime reader. But I know what I like and I know what is good writing. I have tried to read some books before and only made it a page or two into the book before I was drawn to something more appealing. Those books are still sitting with the book mark on that page years later. Those are books that I would not recommend to even an avid reader. Although they have probably already read it once at the least. But when you pick up a book and the characters draw you into the story and you see it in movie form in your head you know that is a book worth the read. Better yet when you can finish 457 pages in a matter of 7 hours and want more when the book is done. (That is estimating that the book has 500 words to a page.) Yes, I read it quickly and could not put it down until it was done. I have such a book for recommendation. I will include the link at the end of this post so that you kindle people can find it on Amazon and Nook people can find it on Barnes and Noble. Unfortunately for those of you NON-E-readers this book is not printed in paper form yet.

To tie this into my one-word prompt I guess you would have to say I avidly read this book. from cover to cover and bought it for my daughter as well. I do wish there were printed versions also but that does not always happen when you are starting out. Publishing a book is hard. If you do not want to publish yourself, you must have faith that your book will be read by people who decide for you whether it is worthy or not of being published. But let me ask, did any of them read the book or did they just read the letter that came with it and toss it to the side. Personally, I must wonder exactly who decides what book is going to be good enough for me to read. What I like you may not and what you like I may not. This ties into the perspectives post I made on Friday.

 

I have read the book due to a friend saying you need to read this. But they know my tastes and the types of books I like. With that being said, I do not know your likes nor your dislikes but I will say that you need to read this book. Even if it is only to get the Author out in this wide world of the web and to readers who may, like me appreciate a good gem when we find one regardless of what others have to say.

The name of the book is Revealed by Shadows by Jeff Cone. I was impressed with his ability to bring the characters to life and by his story telling. I am in love with the brothers. I feel a pull from all three. Their relationship with each other is believable and yet endearing. It is not a typical read as the setting is in modern day but the twists in the book will keep you entertained beyond the word go. I am avid about this book. He is a beginning author, trying to break into the publishing world. I would love for him to see his efforts come to fruition. I avidly advise you to go check out this book and this author. By the way he already has the second book out so you may want to check for it especially if you like the first one.

The kindle link for Revealed by Shadows is:

https://www.amazon.com/Revealed-Shadows-Jeff-Cone-ebook/dp/B0053GLSIE

The Nook link for Revealed by Shadows is:

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/revealed-by-shadows-jeff-cone/1104562101?ean=2940011414299

I am sorry this is a short post but if I say much more then I already have I just might give away the book twists and I do not want to do that for those of you who do chose to read it. For those of you who do not chose to read it, you my friends will never know what you are missing. And it is a treasure to be sure.

via Daily Prompt: Avid

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Perspectives

Welcome to my blog called My Life in a Nutshell. At least for now anyway. I am just starting this blog and was not sure where I would be going with it when it starts rolling. This is to just get the feel of starting it. I am an older woman with a few extra pounds who has been ever so unlucky in the romance department. I would not consider myself an ugly person physically but I do not think I am beautiful nor cute by any means either. I guess you can say this is going to be my way to reach out and see who may have the same issues as I do and if there is anyone I can help by letting them know they are not alone.

My first blog post is about people’s perspectives and the damage that can be done without thought for another human being. I also want to point out that this is my perspective and may not be his perspective on what happened. My most recent romance fail was a lost love of my youth. For some unknown reason, I cannot be mad at him. I have tried to hate him as it would probably be easier for me if I did. Because then I could walk away without one glance back. I would not have this feeling of betrayal and hurt.

My heart is broken. My faith is betrayed. But most of all my soul is empty from the loss of someone important to me for the last 4 years. You were here every day with a call, text, or visit of some kind. I have for the last 2 months had to try and figure out what I did to make you walk away. I still have not figured it out so there is a loss of a friend that I had deep feelings for without a reason as to why that loss happened.

I miss my friend and confidant with my whole being but I will have to learn to live with that loss in my life as I will never know the real reason for what was done. If he came back tomorrow would he tell me the truth or his truth as he sees it. Simply put with millions of people in this world there are just as many truths. Just because two people see things differently does not mean they are wrong it just means they are different people. Maybe this world needs a little more understanding on the difference of people in this world.

When we were younger, I walked away from him because I knew that with as much as I cared for him, he would have the power to make or break me. I was young and very scared of being that in love with someone. We had a lack of communication between us without other people involved. Suffice it to say that we made many mistakes that young people do. Fast forward to a few years ago. he sought me out on Facebook. Yes, I know … cliché, right?! He contacted me thinking I had married into the family somehow as his aunt and I are close friends almost to the point of being sisters. But that tale is for another post. After the initial finding out of what he wanted, we began to talk and started what I thought was closing a door on past bad judgements. I am starting to realize I was what a male friend of mine calls a Fall Back Girl.

A fall back person is that one person who falls for it every time you come around and helps you stand again and as soon as you can step on your own she/he is no longer an asset to your life. But you know that no matter how you leave it with them they will always be there for you. Wake up people! Some people like for us to be there to hold their hand when no one else will. And they give you all you want to hear of how they will never forget you and won’t drop you like a snot rag in flu season. You know they will cause that is what they have done every time that they have come around.

They may have done it one time or 20. It does not matter they are the one person that was your greatest hello, saddest goodbye and biggest what if in your life. So, you accept what they say at face value and fall right back into it with them only to be left high and dry without so much as an explanation why. And they seem to be unaffected by your presence being gone. Yet you think about them daily and the empty spot they left in your world will never seem to fill in. You want to hate them but you can’t because you truly do love them and obviously, they were not happy with you so you can not begrudge them trying elsewhere. But where do you look for healing. With no closure and no solid ending as they are not talking to you not even with a common curtesy on holidays to reply and say ty to well wishes. They have left you hanging to know that you will be there for them when they stumble again.

Let me tell you something people we deserve better than that! Our best is not only good enough for their worst but it is good enough for their best times. It is them who is not good enough for us. We can be good people or bad but we give our all for those people who either have a fear of true commitment to someone who can get that close to us or they just use you for their own improvement. I personally would hate to think they do it sometimes for revenge. But as the ex says he has always gotten revenge on his exes for what they did to him. I wonder how did it feel taking 4 years to pull someone in and have them help you through hard times knowing it was all for you to hurt them in the end. If it makes you feel better about yourself then more power to you! Personally, I would not feel great about myself nor my beliefs as I believe we are our own deeds. Please, think again before you come back as we both know you will, you always have before. Do you really need revenge that badly that you need to hurt someone else for your own pleasure? Do you truly need the help you know you can get from the fall back person? And if so, how will you end it once it began so that you will not hurt them again like the last time or the time before?!

We must start to look at our actions as they affect others in our worlds. We are a pebble in this pond of life and when we hit the surface we tend to ripple out to others as time goes on. But what one person perceives as a helping hand another may perceive it as a slap to the face. People are different for a reason should we all be the same only to never deviate from the rest wouldn’t that just be boring?! We all go to Burger joint and no one goes to Caramel Hut. Life would be boring beyond measure. We have different attitudes, looks, beliefs, likes, loves, and yes even different perspectives. We see life as children when we are young. Then as rebellious teenagers. Then as young adults that nothing can happen to. And when we become parents our perspective is renewed in the eyes of a child. And as we get older we start to see through our parent’s eyes. And the famous saying of if I only knew then what I know now pops into my head. They also say that hind sight is 20/20 however, I believe it may be a tad bit imperfect any way as our memories are our own and as I said before no two people see things the same way. But isn’t that what makes us similar … We are all little fish in this huge pond with different perspectives.

I am finished rambling for the day I hope you have a wonderful weekend.

coffee